“Do You Know Who I Am?”: The Definitive Thread of DYKWIA Stories - FlyerTalk Forums (2025)

JoeStocks

Join Date: Mar 2013

Location: ATL

Programs: Delta Platinum Medallion, Marriott Gold, DL Amex Platinum, Avis Preferred

Posts: 29

I think it's great you gave it to the soldier and I really can't believe the audacity of someone complaining about this. There are things you do outside the guidelines that makes sense and this is one of them. Thanking our soldiers is a nice reminder of all they give to the rest of us, everyday.

Ledfish

Join Date: Aug 2013

Location: DTW

Programs: DL PM, Natl-Exec Elite, Hertz-President Circle, Marriot/Starwood-Gold, HHonors-Gold

Posts: 678

Kudos to you. You did a nice thing!

mattp1987

Join Date: May 2013

Location: RMS

Programs: DL Plat, UA Gold, Bonvoy Titanium, Hilton Credit Card Diamond

Posts: 8,839

As a servicemember I have traveled in uniform exactly once, and that was because I had to get off the plane and go directly to work. If I have time to check into the hotel and change into uniform I will travel in civilian clothes because I don't want any special favors for being in uniform. In fact, it's also illegal for us to accept gifts due to our military status according to the Joint Ethics Regulations, and I would argue that being given an upgrade that wasn't earned falls into that category.

We're only required to wear our uniforms if we're deploying. The other day I was in the security line, and I actually heard a Marine tell his friend that he decided to wear his uniform because he hoped to score a free upgrade.

While I agree Mr. PM was being a DYKWIA in this situation, he was correct that the proper procedure would be to simply decline the upgrade.

Dovster

Join Date: Jul 2003

Location: Yiron, Israel

Programs: Bates Motel Plat

Posts: 68,962

The proper procedure is to decline the upgrade if you don't want to be upgraded.

If you do want to be upgraded, but then see someone who -- for any reason -- you prefer to have the upgrade there is nothing wrong in switching seats with him.

Bicostal

Join Date: Jan 2010

Programs: AA Plat 2MM/UA G MM/DL MM DM 2015/BA Silver/Hyatt Diamond

Posts: 3,103

The guy offering me $100? How about my EC seat....want it for $25?

As nice as it seems, and reason aside, if Delta allows upgrade switching it undermines the integrity of the process. The descriptions used by Delta of its Complimentary upgrades always associate the upgrade with the specific passenger.

The PM was right. If you decline the upgrade, then it goes to the next on the list.

rprimo

Join Date: Jul 2012

Location: MSP

Programs: Delta DM, United Gold, American Gold, Hilton Gold

Posts: 59

He did not decline the upgrade. He took and gave it away. I have seen this thousands of times with husbands and wives, parents and children (save the rules and regs on that). Technically I guess you are correct, But PM was acting like all DYKWIAs like a petulant child.

This is the biggest reason why flying sucks petulance; the TSA I can handle

Dovster

Join Date: Jul 2003

Location: Yiron, Israel

Programs: Bates Motel Plat

Posts: 68,962

Okay, you are a widget salesman. The boss announces in the beginning of the year that whoever sells the most widgets will get a $10,000 bonus.

You sell the most, beating out Walter by five widgets. If you turn down the bonus, Walter will get it.

Do you not have the right to accept the bonus and then give it to whoever you want? Perhaps it is your son or daughter. Perhaps it is someone who is quite sick or somebody else who did you a favor. Maybe you appreciate the military so much that you decide to give it to the first soldier you meet.

In fact, it might even be Fred. Fred was the salesman in your group who sold the fewest widgets and you feel that his commissions were so low that he needs the bonus far more than you do.

Does anyone, including Walter, have the right to object if you give away the money?

mattp1987

Join Date: May 2013

Location: RMS

Programs: DL Plat, UA Gold, Bonvoy Titanium, Hilton Credit Card Diamond

Posts: 8,839

I think the issue with this analogy is that it uses money. Of course once you earn the money you can give it to whomever you choose. If I enter some sweepstakes that Delta is offering where the grand prize is $10,000 cash, I can give it to Fred if I want (after I pay taxes on it).

What if you replace the money in your story with an extra 5 days of vacation time? Are you allowed to give those days to Fred? In that case it probably depends on the rules that Human Resources at your company sets. These rules would be analogous to the program rules for the Delta Medallion program.

TheRoadie

Join Date: Jul 2006

Location: Portland, OR

Programs: DL MM Gold

Posts: 1,676

You know this has been the subject of some debate here? Is the upgraded seat yours to dispose of any way you wish, or is it Delta's, and if you're not going to sit in it personally THEY get to decide whose butt rides in it?

If it's yours, the argument goes, what's to prevent you from auctioning it off or otherwise trading it to somebody in the back for "future consideration" like a phone number or a date? Of course, ANYBODY in FC could run that process, not just upgraded ones.

GRALISTAIR

Join Date: May 2008

Location: CHA, MAN;

Programs: Delta DM 1 MM; Hz PC

Posts: 11,169

To cut a long story short, about 6 months ago I was on a TATL and was offered a BE upgrade. I turned it down to sit with my wife. The GA thanked me for doing this QUOTE "the correct way" and I assume the next person in priority got the UG. On the exact same flight as I was not now boarding with F but with ST Elite+ the guy in front of me got the beep beep as his BP was scanned and he was also traveling with is SO. He kept the upgraded BP and when he got to his SO's seat offered the "random" person sitting in his old seat the BE seat. The woman was absolutely delighted and over the moon and accepted. The FA said nothing and I assume the GA was unaware.

So I am really in two minds about the whole thing. Preserve the UG process or make a random person absolutely delighted.

MSPeconomist

Join Date: Sep 2009

Location: Minneapolis: DL DM charter 2.3MM

Programs: A3*Gold, SPG Plat, HyattDiamond, MarriottPP, LHW exAccess, ICI, Raffles Amb, NW PE MM, TWA Gold MM

Posts: 100,485

That's a shame. The guy could just as easily told the GA to give the upgrade to the next person on the list. In fact, arguably, he got it only because you did the right thing.

Vegasmusician

Join Date: Apr 2010

Location: Las Vegas, NV

Programs: DL 1MM Charter DM / Hilton Diamond

Posts: 273

sky303

Join Date: Jul 2011

Location: DCA

Programs: AA Plat Pro, UA Silver, DL Silver, Marriott Titanium, Hilton Diamond

Posts: 1,851

NotHamSarnie

Join Date: Dec 2011

Programs: DL PM, AA Gold, UA Silver, EI Silver

Posts: 2,041

Not really. At that point his original seat was given to someone else and he would have had to trade a possibly less desirable seat with the person now sitting next to his partner. Instead he got to trade a BE seat which obviously anybody in their right mind would take.

xolinlevh

Join Date: Jul 2008

Location: MSP

Programs: Delta PM, Marriott Plat, Hertz Pres

Posts: 3,649

Ive had this before, and in my mind atleast, if i get the upgrade, its mine to do with as i wish. Specifically i was traveling with my mother who is not a frequent flyer at all, and when my upgrade cleared i gave her my seat in F and took hers in the back. Personally i see nothing wrong with this.